Bliss
December 31, 2010
December 28, 2010
December 27, 2010
December 26, 2010
December 24, 2010
Delusions of Grandeur
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| Essex, VT |
My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue.
An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view.
An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view.
Carole King
December 21, 2010
December 20, 2010
December 14, 2010
December 09, 2010
December 05, 2010
Sense and/or Sensibility
I just finished the film adaptation of Jane Austen's novel, Sense and Sensibility, and it connected to a part of me that I know needs improvement, and yet, I have a lot of trouble learning.
I am not sensible, enough, I think. And yet somehow, I always justify my flippancy as honest and just ME. But in truth, I don't believe that declaring your attitudes or behaviors as only a result of being authentically yourself is adequate enough. We are all striving to be as honest with ourselves because it is only from that point that you can make positive steps forward for yourself. Not to say that mistakes leave you three steps behind, but it's only if you learn from them that you evolve from them. I have not yet learned from many of my mistakes because they are intrinsically a part of my personality's attitude. My reactions, perceptions and patterns are just a part of me as my eye and hair color are, BUT,fortunately, they are not fixed.
Last night I had a serious reality check. Unintentioanlly, I hurt my co-worker's feelings and honestly, he is the most respectful, upstanding male that I have met yet, here in Vermont. It's fortunate that it coincided with my viewing of this film, because it made me realize as Kate Winslet's character said so poignantly to my own inner view, while talking to her older sister, Neither of us have anything to tell. I because I conceal nothing and you because you communicate nothing.
Upset at how I could flimsily and mindlessly hurt my friend and co-worker's feelings, I confided in my other co-worker and he said don't worry, he knows how you are. And it was that moment that I realized that that alone is no excuse. My ability to conceal nothing, must have some filters. While I've always thought that filtering your opinions is dishonest and unauthentic, I'm learning that there are legitimate reasons for leaving out potentially hurtful information.Thoughtless with my words, and carelessly talking without thinking, I didn't take into account my surroundings and the vast experiences that we all live in, and thus ended up offending someone that has only treated me with utmost respect.
So while my senses may be heightened more than some, perhaps, I know I NEED to work on my sensibility and constant, vigilant awareness of how affected we all are by each others' words and actions.
I am not sensible, enough, I think. And yet somehow, I always justify my flippancy as honest and just ME. But in truth, I don't believe that declaring your attitudes or behaviors as only a result of being authentically yourself is adequate enough. We are all striving to be as honest with ourselves because it is only from that point that you can make positive steps forward for yourself. Not to say that mistakes leave you three steps behind, but it's only if you learn from them that you evolve from them. I have not yet learned from many of my mistakes because they are intrinsically a part of my personality's attitude. My reactions, perceptions and patterns are just a part of me as my eye and hair color are, BUT,fortunately, they are not fixed.
Last night I had a serious reality check. Unintentioanlly, I hurt my co-worker's feelings and honestly, he is the most respectful, upstanding male that I have met yet, here in Vermont. It's fortunate that it coincided with my viewing of this film, because it made me realize as Kate Winslet's character said so poignantly to my own inner view, while talking to her older sister, Neither of us have anything to tell. I because I conceal nothing and you because you communicate nothing.
Upset at how I could flimsily and mindlessly hurt my friend and co-worker's feelings, I confided in my other co-worker and he said don't worry, he knows how you are. And it was that moment that I realized that that alone is no excuse. My ability to conceal nothing, must have some filters. While I've always thought that filtering your opinions is dishonest and unauthentic, I'm learning that there are legitimate reasons for leaving out potentially hurtful information.Thoughtless with my words, and carelessly talking without thinking, I didn't take into account my surroundings and the vast experiences that we all live in, and thus ended up offending someone that has only treated me with utmost respect.
So while my senses may be heightened more than some, perhaps, I know I NEED to work on my sensibility and constant, vigilant awareness of how affected we all are by each others' words and actions.
December 04, 2010
REJOICE!
SO happy right now. I'm working with a wonderful gentlemen that has community access needs. Wanting simple companionship, as he lives alone, we went to the local Human Society to see if he could adopt a cat. A kind man that wants what most living things do, LOVE, he explained to the adoption manager what he was looking for in a pet and she acquainted us with a lovely four year old kitty that had been there the longest out of the 40 cats in the shelter.
We went into a small, concrete room and there, the magic happened. The cat nuzzled her delicate face on his leg, and he was smitten. After giddily signing all the adoption forms, the adoption manager came to brief us on the roles and responsibilities of pet ownership. It was then that we were struck with a barrier of haves and have nots. She said that it could cost up to $1000 a year to have a cat. Immediately, my friend said that it wouldn't be possible and we left. Distraught, he said all he wanted was to have a cat and be the best caretaker he could be. I dropped him off at his house, and drove back to my roommate filled home feeling his despondency amidst all my comradery.
So here I am now. In Uncommon Grounds, a rustic, artsy, lively cafe that sits cozily in it's Church Street spot. Soft lady jazz cushions the barista sounds and friends giggle over lattes on weekend romances. And I just got news that has given me more energy than my Aztec hot cocoa. My friend that I went to the Humane Society with, just called and said that he spoke to his friend and went over his finances and determined that he can in fact adopt the cat. He said that he just called to tell me the good news.
This is why I want to work. Because by simply creating access and transportation for this man, he is now, on his own, building a more fulfilling life for himself. It's amazing how easy it is to help, it's just a matter of garnering the energy up to do it. I think we need these little victories in life to keep fueling the fire and revealing to us how important our impact can be.
We went into a small, concrete room and there, the magic happened. The cat nuzzled her delicate face on his leg, and he was smitten. After giddily signing all the adoption forms, the adoption manager came to brief us on the roles and responsibilities of pet ownership. It was then that we were struck with a barrier of haves and have nots. She said that it could cost up to $1000 a year to have a cat. Immediately, my friend said that it wouldn't be possible and we left. Distraught, he said all he wanted was to have a cat and be the best caretaker he could be. I dropped him off at his house, and drove back to my roommate filled home feeling his despondency amidst all my comradery.
So here I am now. In Uncommon Grounds, a rustic, artsy, lively cafe that sits cozily in it's Church Street spot. Soft lady jazz cushions the barista sounds and friends giggle over lattes on weekend romances. And I just got news that has given me more energy than my Aztec hot cocoa. My friend that I went to the Humane Society with, just called and said that he spoke to his friend and went over his finances and determined that he can in fact adopt the cat. He said that he just called to tell me the good news.
This is why I want to work. Because by simply creating access and transportation for this man, he is now, on his own, building a more fulfilling life for himself. It's amazing how easy it is to help, it's just a matter of garnering the energy up to do it. I think we need these little victories in life to keep fueling the fire and revealing to us how important our impact can be.
December 03, 2010
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