tehe

i have intentionally tripped and i have accidentally tripped. we all have our magical!enchanting!enlightening!spellbound drug stories up our young sleeves so i'm not going to bore you with my past tales of hallucinogenic dabbling. rather, i'll tell what happened one frosty evening in the winsome enclave of burlington, vermont. my boyfriend, my first la la LOVE, and my first MINE terminated one cold evening. i was torn to pieces, a floating tittle of anxious despair. my double bed was our double bed and my free time was usually, our free time. obviously we had lives, and friends and school and things but generally the evening time weeknights were reserved for ze man. so eventually, when we decided to make the brave cessation to a wonderful yet outgrown relationship, i was thrown in the depths of despair, distraught by our decision yet polarized by our cognizance. after two weeks of feeling like EFFING SHIT from not sleeping at all and the looming threat of finals in the coming week, i stumbled my wilting little self to the psychiatrist to find a remedy to sooth my sleeplessness.needless to say, it was piece of cake. i am not one to abuse drugs, alcohol or food, but when you have gone two weeks with around two hours of restless sleep a night, your delirious self JUMPS at the opportunity to be given magic potions. that being said, the lovely, sensitive and benevolent crew at the college campus psychology department gave me a precious prescription for Ambien sleep aids, technically termed-hypnotics. i trudged home through the snow, got in my floral night gown, lit my favorite yankee candle scent(greenhouse) turned on the calming grooves of the victoria's secret soundtrack, brewed myself a steep mug of valerian tea, popped an ambien in my mouth and slid under my white comforter sipping my herby tincture. my mind was apathetic to lots, so ooooofcourse i wasn't actually going to read the massive direction slash ingredients slash warning sheets that pharmy people stuff in the paper bag. so after twenty five minutes of lying in a woe-is-me state, i suddenly started feeling ..funny.like goofy, like really really REALLY happy. my head felt a bit wider, clearer and i was awfully giggly for being alone, in my bed, by myself with no form of entertainment but myself. i wasn't reading a book, the tv wasn't on, what the hell could be so funny? but these weren't questions that i was actually asking myself during the moment, because i was having a dandy old time! i called my friend and started talking what i was later told-absolute nonsense, something about donkeys and pajamas, she was confused, and i was utterly..amused. my colorful turquoise sea inspired room felt like a blissful nook filled with grace. the smell of my candle softened the air and the victoria's secret melody, titled, daydreaming, was flowering the room with glorious sound. but then BOOM. i woke up the next morning. well rested but confused. the confused type of confusion when you wake up in someones room on the weekend and you have no idea where the hell you are or what the hell you got yourself into. holy shit, i realized.i blacked out. i didn't remember talking to my friend or falling asleep or setting my alarm. but just like the morning after any overindulgent drinking night, i knew for sure, i had had a REALLY good time. turns out, valerian root is stronger than i had ever imagined. a loose tea that you can find at any co-op, valerian is a natural sleep aid that i took for granted. thinking it was going to have minimal, to no effects on my sleeping, i didn't even think twice when drinking it with my dose of pharmy magic. as it so happens, the combination of the two was quite a transcendent experience, and would i try this again? obvi!